The Post-Holiday Blues And COVID — A couple of days before Christmas I heard a song on NPR while out shopping. The song was Adam Weiner’s Christmas Makes Me Cry, recently written for the Morning Edition’s Song Project. It nearly brought me to tears. Although the title was written during a college break years before, the…

Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate our preoccupation with productivity. — As a therapist, I hear it every day, “Covid has put my life on hold. I can’t even think about the future, so I have no motivation to do anything.” It’s as if the present has no purpose without an ability to imagine a future, to work toward a goal…

Not Just An Interpersonal Dynamic — Gaslighting. Most of us know what it means. And many of us have been its victim. Gaslighting is most often associated with personal relationships, but its insidious nature is also evident in the social and political realms. Wikipedia defines gaslighting as a form of psychological manipulation in which a person…

Later Life Parenting — Starting a family later in life has been on the rise since the 1970s when the Baby Boom generation came of age. …

The Impact of Stress — When the Coronavirus hit and everyone was required to quarantine for weeks that became months, one of my first thoughts was, “Well, here comes the next baby boom!” That, of course, was based on the historical precedent of hard times causing spikes in birthrates. Disasters seem to encourage procreation. After…

How Empathy And Healthy Guilt May Help — Jeremy sits on the bench, waiting for his mother to arrive, his head bowed, his feet shuffling back and forth, unable to find a comfortable resting place. He’s accused of impulsively smacking a little girl in his preschool class after she pushed him. Now he’s in big trouble. That’s how…

How To Reconcile Being a Descendant of a Founding Father And Slave Owner — “I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.” Thomas Jefferson A friend of mine recently asked me (during the Black Lives Matter protests) whether a painting on her wall appeared “racist.” It depicted several Black women on a dusty road, women who she now…

My husband and I took up candle making when we had little money for entertainment. It was a creative venture that we could do together. We invested a great deal of time, energy and love into our fledgling creations. We discovered unique ways to decorate each candle, using mostly found…

How to Know What Your Type is — Susan complains that she and her husband, Jack, don’t communicate. He says he communicates just fine; she just doesn’t listen. She feels frustrated. He feels unheard. Maybe therapy can help. Included in most therapist’s toolbox are exercises to improve communication, like active listening, reflecting back, or making “I statements” such…