The Value of “Being” During Covid
Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate our preoccupation with productivity.
As a therapist, I hear it every day, “Covid has put my life on hold. I can’t even think about the future, so I have no motivation to do anything.” It’s as if the present has no purpose without an ability to imagine a future, to work toward a goal, even if it’s a trip to Europe or hosting a wedding. Just living in the “Now” is intolerable. We not only worry about the basics, like paying the rent, buying food, and getting medical care; we fear that as the economy grinds to a halt, our lives will too. Our sense of self is tenuous.
We all feel it. The college grad who can’t find a job in her chosen field, the business owner who has to shut down and wonders if he’ll ever open again, and the worker who lost a job that may not be coming back all face an uncertain future. Each one has to reassess, alter their plans, and start over, some of them at an age when starting over seems almost impossible. One woman nearing sixty explained that she’d worked all her life, was always independent, built a successful business, only to watch it collapse. “I can’t just find another job or go back to school at my age,” she lamented. I ask if there is something she can do with her life right now other than work. She insists there is nothing she wants to do. Work is her life.
As humans, we seem programmed to “do,” rather than “be.” Work gives us purpose. We have no meaning if we are not productive. Covid has snatched that option away, leaving us in the eternal “Now,” a kind of horrifying limbo. Purgatory. It has plunged us into the abyss of a today without any certainty of a tomorrow as if there ever was true certainty.
The global system which places value on how much you produce, how much money you make, how hard you work is on hiatus, leaving many of us feeling worthless, depressed, and scared. If we aren’t doing, if we aren’t productive, who are we?
Doing vs Being
Back in the 1980s, author John Bradshaw emphasized the importance of being versus doing, suggesting that the driving force behind so much doing was shame. In his book Healing the Shame that Binds You, Bradshaw told his readers, “What I can’t grasp is that there is no way to change your being by your doing. The shame-based core cries out, ‘You’re flawed and defective! There’s something wrong with you!’ All the doing in the world won’t change that.”
During this time of internment, those words have renewed relevance. Forced into more “Being” than “Doing,” we currently need to look elsewhere for our worth and value. For some people, this can be found in the spiritual realm, which says you are more than what you do. Zen Master, author, and poet, Thich Nhat Hahn, says, “We have a tendency to think in terms of doing and not in terms of being. We think that when we are not doing anything, we are wasting our time. But that is not true. Our time is first of all for us to be.”
Even the Bible hails the importance of Being. It tells the story of two sisters, Mary and Martha, who were often visited by Jesus. “Martha,” the Scripture says, “was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made” (Lk. 10:40). She loved the “work of the Lord” more than the “Lord of the work!” At one particular moment, Jesus asked her to be still, to worship, not worry so much. “Martha, Martha,” he said, “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.” He chastened Martha to slow down long enough to receive the spirit. We might say that psychologically Mary represents the ability to be still in the midst of busyness in order to balance the opposites of doing and being. A one-sided focus on being productive obscures the ability to develop spiritually and emotionally. When we are in a constant state of doing, we become, as Bradshaw said, “Human doings vs. Human Beings.”
Finding Meaning in the Madness
As a Jungian analyst, I am always curious about the meaning to be found in the symptoms my clients present, be it depression, anxiety, illness, or relationship problems. They are suffering and want the suffering to go away. I understand that, but I suggest instead that they view their symptoms as messages from the psyche, a message that something is amiss within, not just in the outer world. What is the psyche wanting from them, or for them? What needs to change?
These days, as I contemplate the situation in the world, especially the Pandemic, I wonder if there is a greater meaning in what is happening. Perhaps we are being asked to slow down, to look around, to consider our fellow beings, to reassess our values, to think more creatively, to realize we are not in charge. Our old way of going about life is stalled, giving us time to reflect, perhaps even to access some greater truths.
Clients often enter therapy to “fix” a problem, to seek a practical solution. Similarly, we are searching desperately for a medical solution to our global illness. And we are on the brink of offering up just that in the form of a vaccine. We believe that then we will be able to return to “Normal.” But what if we are missing the greater meaning in this Pandemic? What if back-to-normal is actually the problem, and Covid is just the symptom? By simply removing the symptom (Covid), we may be missing the deeper lesson. What a shame that would be after all the sacrifice and suffering.
The Benefit of Being
So what does it even mean to just “be?” For one, it means to slow down the constant inner chatter about what needs to be done or what has been done and what has not been done. It means accepting that worth does not equal output or productivity, that what you do is not who you are. It’s being mindful and conscious, even about what you do. As Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “With the energy of mindfulness, any action in our daily life — including walking, eating, brushing our teeth, or doing the dishes — can become joyful, relaxed, and meaningful.”
When the Pandemic ends, and it will, we could certainly go back to “doing,” relieved at its end, glad for our escape from ourselves, from our more existential problems, like discovering our true purpose, our true self. But without using the time we’ve had to reflect on what is of value in ourselves, our lives, and those around us, this time may be looked upon as just an inconvenient intermission. We will have dismissed the invitation to explore what really gives life its individual and collective meaning. Uncovering that requires us, as Martha was instructed, to be still for a while. In the silence of being, we might just get a glimpse of the bigger picture, one that mirrors back who we truly are.
